Hi, everyone! I know it's been over a month since I last wrote in here! Holiday craziness, stress, and and just lack of motivation have sort of caused me to lose ideas to write.
However, after taking part in a chat on Twitter last week, I sort of got an idea for a blog. It took me a few days to put it on here though. I have started to realize that there is more to living than just appearances and that one can not judge self-worth or anything else on the outside alone. It took me a while to realize this myself, and that I was getting upset over the dumbest stuff.
For example, I almost had a meltdown in Victoria's Secret after I realized I was still too big to fit into their bras there. I wanted to cry so bad. Yes, I know the bras are overpriced, but that was something that I have never been able to do, and knowing that I still can't does suck, but I just realized that over a year ago, I would have never had the guts to go in that store at all. So, baby steps do lead somewhere.
I have realized that not everything can happen all at once, and that I can't flip out over something as silly as a $40 bra at VS or a $60 pair of Hollister jeans (yes, I have had near meltdowns in there too after finding out that their largest size is an 11). However, I know that in time, I will be able to shop in those stores too (and my bank account will not be thanking me any...lol) and that I have to keep moving forward.
Last week, I started taking part in the "Me First" chats on Twitter. (The movement's website is www.thememovement.com) The topic was body image. Through numerous questions I have realized that I was still clinging to a negative body image. Even though I had lost all this weight, I still couldn't find a positive thing about myself. However, with a little bit of soul searching, I have started to come around. For example, today I looked in the mirror, well, kitchen window, and for the first time, did not think that my legs were fat! From the front, I saw skinny legs, and the back, I saw well-defined, muscular legs! That was one of my biggest problems for awhile. I always thought I had fat legs, but realized that I just have muscular, athletic calves! Oh, and I can fit a whole calf into a boot, so that helped too...lol =)
I know that the world is a superficial place, with thin people being more desired and praised while heavier people are looked down upon, and often rejected by society in general. During the chat, a shirt from Urban Outfitters was brought up. The shirt simply said "Eat Less." Just an example of thin being more desired. Stuff like that leads to more girls having negative body image and possibly having an eating disorder. Just goes to show that inner qualities aren't as important to some people as physical appearance. I'm thankful that I was able to start loving myself before I could go down that route.
I want to close with this little task for you. Look in the mirror. Think of five positive traits about yourself (not physical). Say them to yourself. I did this exercise the other day and I felt better about myself right away. For the record, here are my five:
1) I am a caring person.
2) I do what I feel is right, even if it's not the popular choice.
3) I am usually energetic.
4) I am an awesome friend.
5) I love to laugh, and can sometimes make others laugh too. =)
You can share your five or not, it's up to you. It's just a small exercise to realize that life is more than numbers and physical appearances, something that I struggled to realize myself until recently.
If I don't blog again before Saturday, Happy New Year! Let's make 2011 a year to full of positivity and happiness! =D
Kisses and hugs,