Saturday, December 10, 2011

Quick Update

Hey, all! I know it's been awhile since I last blogged, and I do apologize, and will probably make a New Year's resolution to blog

Since I last blogged, I hit 3 milestones:

1) I hit my 80 pound loss. FINALLY! 20 pounds to goal now. =)

2) I bought my first ever pair of Abercrombie and Fitch jeans. Size 12. They are a little tight, but THEY FIT!! =D Here's that pic:

 3) Last Friday, I made it through a 10k (6.22 miles) on the elliptical. Well, actually, I didn't want to get off the machine, so I ended up doing a little bit more...

Well, there were some slow stretches on this workout, and I did walk a few times, but I didn't give up!

Actually, I realized there is a fourth one as well. I went into the mall on Tuesday and went into Hollister. Just for kicks, I tried on a pair of size 11 jeans. No surprise, they didn't fit. I'm not even sure you can call it close to fitting. However, I was okay with it. A year ago, hell, even six months ago, I would have pulled a fit and burst into tears in the dressing room. This time, I held my head high and realized that there is more to life than wearing Hollister jeans.

I'm taking a mental health day, so it's back to watching Cars 2 for me! Good night to you all!

Kisses and hugs,


Monday, October 17, 2011

Who's Afraid of 13? Not this girl!

Hi, guys! I know it's been over two months since I last updated, but tonight, I felt more motivation to write.

The last two months, I've been more or less down on myself. I know I've come so far in two years, but there are moments when I still struggle with the self-esteem. I think I sound like a broken record when I say this, but I think it's partially due to never knowing what it's like to feel good about myself. I feel better about myself, of course, but there are times when I still have that insecurity and still wish I was smaller, faster, or yes, prettier, than I am.

However, on Saturday, I hit a turning point. An emotional one.

I went to Kohl's on Saturday afternoon, kind of a spur of the moment shopping trip on the way to get dinner. I went into the juniors' department, just wanting one pair of jeans, not expecting my size to have changed at all. I picked out a few things, including a pair of Candie's flare leg jeans in a size 13, just for kicks.

Those were the first jeans I tried on, and THEY ACTUALLY FIT!! Here's the dressing room pic:

I loved them, then realized they were (obviously) too long, even if I wore my black dress shoes with them. I did try on another pair, a boot cut pair, still a size 13, along with a juniors XL top:

I ended up buying the whole outfit. It cost me $31. This is what I call winning. =D

Saturday showed just how far I've really come, even if I didn't truly realize it. I know I can finish what I started and I will see it through to the end!

Kisses and hugs,


Sunday, August 7, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me!

Hi, everyone! I know I haven't posted in awhile, partly to busyness, and partly lack of inspiration.

For those who haven't seen it on Twitter and/or Facebook, today is my birthday. I'm 26, yet feel younger than that even.

This last year has been an up and down year, both emotionally and physically. It was a continuation in my weight loss journey, and I have learned that it is as much emotional as it is physical. I think that as I enter my 26th year, I have learned a lot more than I did going into my 25th. I learned that it is okay to put myself first, and not feel guilty when I do. I also learned that I can do it on my own. Granted, there are times when it's hard to do so, and I'm not saying that this whole journey is easy, but it can be done.

For those wondering, I did not hit my weight loss goal by my birthday. I am down to 169 pounds, which is 19 pounds short of my initial goal. However, I reset my goal by 4 pounds. I am now going for 100 pounds lost. It won't be easy, but I am determined to see it through!

Thank you for all your love and support during the last year and for the coming year and beyond!

Kisses and hugs,


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

FINALLY Loving Myself!

Hey, all! I know it's been awhile since I wrote. I've had no inspiration to write lately. Blah. =P

Anyway, yesterday, I had a major breakthrough on my weight loss journey!

I finally have started to love myself and see myself as the smaller person I am. Almost two years in to this, and for the first time, I'm truly loving myself.

You see, I bought a pair of size 17 Unionbay khaki short shorts last summer. Part of me did it because they were only $3 on the clearance rack at Kohl's. Part of me was planning on wearing them that summer. Well, it didn't happen then. I still was not fully confident to wear them at all last year.

Well, yesterday, that all changed. I put them on, and honestly, it was such a strange feeling. Then again, over the last two years, I've had a lot of strange feelings, not just about clothes, but all sorts of other stuff too (but that's another post). Anyway, I put them on and went out wearing them! And I felt so confident with myself! That was a huge step in this journey, and from here on out, it's no more negatives! Well, mostly no more

Before I end this post, here's a pic from yesterday! I am now 171 pounds (down 75 pounds!) and in a juniors' size 17!

Kisses and hugs,


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Putting the Weight Back On

Hi all! For the record, you DID read that title right.

Yes, I did put the weight back on, but not literally. I don't think I could do it for real even if I tried.

At the gym this morning, I told my trainer that I hit my 75 pound weight loss milestone (this morning, actually! =D). Guess the first thing he made me do.

That's right. Put the weight back on. Well, not exactly on.

He got two 35 pound kettlebells, made me put one in each hand, and do two laps around the gym holding them. Even though it was 5 pounds less than I lost, it was still really hard to do. By the time it was over, I wanted to cry. I could not believe that just under two years ago, I was literally carrying that weight around 24/7/365! It was such hard work! It was then that I truly realized that I could not put that weight back on to my body ever again. 

Just figured I would share that with everyone! Have a good night!

Kisses and hugs,


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Milestones Hit!

Hi, everyone! It's been some time since I last posted, but this one is a happy post!

Last week, I hit my 70 pound milestone! I lost 5 pounds, bringing my total loss to 71 pounds in a year and eight months! Yay! I rewarded myself with Carolyn Hennesy's "The Secret Life of Damian Spinelli" book (I'm a soap opera fanatic, for those who didn't know

Second, I bought my first ever pair of Aeropostale jeans! Size 15/16 skinny jeans and they fit perfectly! Best part was that they were on sale for $14.99! Double success! =D

Third, I have decided to end my personal training when the contract ends in May. It is a lot of money for me, plus I think I'm at a point where I think I'm set to go back on my own. I did start this journey on my own, so I can totally finish it on my own. It might take some time (still about 20 pounds to lose), but it is definitely doable!

That's all from me for tonight. Peace out, peeps! =)

Kisses and hugs,


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Quick Update!

Hello, everyone! I know it's been awhile since I last wrote on here, but I've been busy with work and the gym, plus my access to my laptop is extremely limited since it's the only computer in the house.

Anyway, I just wanted to update you all with my latest progress:

1) I hit BOTH my cardio goals for the month of March! I did 46.03 miles on the elliptical, going over my goal of 45 miles by 1.03! My goal for the summit trainer was 25 miles, and I did 25.7! Success!

2) No change with my weight. I have hit a plateau, both physically and emotionally. Plus, this week is "that time", so that doesn't help any at all. Oh well. Just kick ass more this coming week!

3) I have survived nine months without soda. So many times I've been tempted to cave in and have one, but I've stayed strong. I didn't think I would! 

Anyway, that's all for tonight! Next post, I'll have some pictures up on here!

Kisses and hugs,


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Same Story, Different Day =(

Hi, everyone! I know it's been awhile since I wrote on here! Between not having constant access to my laptop, and simply lack of inspiration, it's been a little hard to.

It has been an up and down month, both physically and emotionally. I seem to have hit another "Debbie Downer" phase, at least for part of the month. My numbers weren't where I wanted them to be, and I was, once again, struggling with my self-esteem. I have spent a good chunk of February as a mess. Just as I thought I was getting better, it all came crashing down again.

I realize that I have less than a third of my goal left to go, and that the weight will not come off as easily as it did in the beginning, not that the first part of my weight loss was a ( cakewalk, but it seems that the last 20-30 pounds is the hardest to lose. Still, part of me feels like I'm not doing enough or doing something wrong, because honestly, I feel like I should be at goal by now, after over a year and a half of doing this. 

As for the emotional, it's more of the same crap I've been thinking about for months. Once again, I hit a point where I don't think I'm loveable. I know that there is more to a person than what's on the outside, but sadly, most people don't. That is such a shame to think about, much less talk about, but it is, very sadly, reality. I think part of it is not knowing anything but being heavy, looked down on, and made fun of for pretty much my entire life. I know I'll accept myself, and I have at one point, but for now, it's back to where I was: feeling disgusting and unloveable.

Anyway, I'll end here. Hope I can blog again soon!

Kisses and hugs,


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

JanGTD Reflection

Hi, everyone! I know it's been awhile since I blogged, but I have been a busy girl! Work, sleep, vidding, and so much more! But I decided to finally make time and write this entry about a challenge I just finished.

Through some Twitter pals, I found out about a challenge called "Go the Distance." Basically, it was setting goals with both strength training circuits and cardio miles. These were the goals I set for myself:

1) 12 strength circuits
2) 50 miles on the elliptical
3) 25 miles on the summit trainer

Most of the month was a challenge. Besides not having access to my gym for several days of the month (Snow kept me from getting to the gym), there were honestly some days where I didn't feel like working out. Still, I pushed through those mental blocks, and kicked ass more and more throughout the month!

Results of JanGTD:

1) 11 strength circuits done. If I was more motivated to workout at home, I would have gotten to 12. =(
2) 39.8 miles out of 50 on the elliptical. 79.6% of my goal. Given that I wasn't  able to get to the gym as often as I would have liked, I'm happy with that.
3) 25.4 miles on the summit trainer. I went over goal by 0.4 miles. I set a smaller goal on that because it is the harder of the two modalities, and I hit it last night!

However, even if I didn't hit my overall goal, I set some smaller goals for myself. One was to do an hour of cardio, since I was hardly able to do 20 minutes without wanting to pass out. I did that several times throughout the month!

My second was to hit 4 miles on the elliptical. I had done at most 3 and change at once, and I really wanted to hit 4, partially to push myself, and partially to tell myself "Yes, I can!" All month, I struggled to do it. On Sunday, something came over me, and the juices were flowing hard and fast! I set the timer on the elliptical for 30 minutes, but told myself I would not get off until I hit the 4 miles. I didn't need the full 30 minutes to hit it. I hit my fourth mile at 28:52! However, I didn't quit until I finished the full 30 minutes, and ended at 4.15 miles. Here's the pic for those who need (Ignore the heart rate reading. I wasn't holding the sensors.):

One word: INSANITY!!

I had several of my Twitter pals rooting me on as I did this. I try not to tweet (or do anything else) while I workout, but tweeting on Sunday definitely helped me! Knowing that people were supporting me was awesome! 

Even though I only hit one of my three goals during this challenge, I felt like I accomplished so much more. I pushed myself in ways that I may not have if I didn't sign up for this. This was also the first time that I had set a specific goal for myself. Just having the goal totally motivated me in the gym! 

Before I close, I lost 3 pounds this week, bringing my total loss to 66 pounds! I am now 180, which is a number I haven't seen in, like, 10 years! Such an amazing feeling!

Okay, I'm done before I turn this entry into a book! Good night, and happiness to all! =)

Kisses and hugs,