Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Another Milestone Hit!! :-)

Hello, my friends! Hope everyone's having a good week!

Well, I hit another milestone this week. I lost a pound and a half this week, for a total loss of 50.5 pounds in eight and a half months!! HOORAY!

I definitely feel the best I've been in forever. I can do stuff that I didn't think I could do and stuff I was already doing can be done so much easier. When I started this journey, it was so hard to move around at work, and I would get out of breath so easily. Now, I can actually move and life has become easier. Workouts have also become easier too. For example, I could barely do 10 minutes of Wii Fit free step without stopping. Now, I can do 30-40 minutes and not feel like I have to pass out. The best was when I went to the movies yesterday, and there was a good six inches between me and the seat. All this stuff may seem small to some people, but to me, it's all huge! And things will only get better from here!

Thank you all for your love and support!

Kisses and hugs,


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Weigh-In Wednesday!

Hello, everyone! Hope everyone's having a good week!

I lost one pound this week for a total loss of 49 pounds! :-D

Not the two pound loss I was hoping for, but I'll take it! The way I look at it, it's better than no loss or GAINING weight.

Here's to another awesome week! Next week I WILL hit my 50 pound mark!

Love you guys!


Saturday, April 17, 2010

I Thought I Was Alone, But I'm Not

Hello, my friends! Hope that everyone's having a good weekend!

I reread Tuesday's blog and realized that while I was a perfectionist who never really loved myself, there is a little bit more to the story: I also spent much of my life feeling alone.

The summer before I started middle school, my family and me moved from Elizabeth to Leonardo. As a result, everyone had already made their friends in elementary school, and I was the "new girl." And in middle school, being the new kid is probably the worst feeling in the world. I didn't make new friends easily AT ALL, and thought that food was really the only thing that was always there, so I would just eat, and not really feel anything, except my clothes getting tighter and tighter.

When I went into high school, I made new friends a lot easier, but in many ways, I still felt empty and alone. Sure, I was friendly and sweet, but I think because I let food suppress my feelings, I let myself ger heavy, and fat kids are looked down upon, so I was never invited to do anything with anyone, and kept to myself. Eventually, during my senior year, I opened up, but by that point, everyone was getting ready to go on their separate ways. As a result, my high school years were not the greatest.

College went better than high school in terms of making friends and being social. I lived on campus for all four years, and it was a lot easier to be around people and have a social life. However, after I graduated, I was back to being alone and back to my old habits with lack of socialization and stuffing myself with food. I then hit my highest weight, 242 pounds, and relaized that something had to change.

It wasn't until last summer that I realized that I didn't want to live the way I was living anymore. I started changing not just my body, but my soul as well. When I started this journey, I thought I was on my own. In some ways, I am, in that I'm not on a program like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. However, I started to talk to people online who are going through the same struggle with weight that I am, and realized that I am NEVER truly alone. Even though I haven't met these people face to face, we still support each other. So we are apart in distance, together at heart.

I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I have realized that this journey is as emotional as it is physical, and now that I truly know the "why" of how I got in such bad shape, I can figure out what to change and how to do it. I still have a bit of a way to go, but I feel a bit of a relief now that I cleared a major hurdle in my journey.

Feeling loved in and out,


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Oh look, It's Wednesday again...

Good morning my loves!

Well, as of last week, I was within two pounds of hitting a total loss of 50 pounds. I went to weigh in this morning and I lost...absolutely nothing. :-( However, I didn't gain anything either. :-) Still, it was a little disappointing, knowing I was that close to another milestone and not hitting it.

Then again, this last week was not as good of a week as I had hoped it would be. My eating was off in all forms of the word, especially Friday, when it was so busy at work that I wasn't able to go on break and eat, so I went over 10 hours without eating anything. Then it backfired. I ended up stuffing my face with fries and a burger. And I felt SO gross after I finished. I realized that if I can't eat on a regular pattern, which is more or less the case when I have work, then I have to make better choices when I do eat, and not eat so much heavy food all at once. Oh yeah, and add something to my breakfast of Multi-Grain Cherrios, like yogurt or fruit.

Anyway, rather than moping and wallowing in my lack of a loss, I went right into a workout. I burned 270 calories in 37 minutes and felt sore after, but it gave me a good feeling that I did something that will be good for my body in the long term. In fact, I realized that eight months ago, I wasn't able to last even 10 minutes on the beginner level workouts on my Gold's Gym Cardio game. Today, I did 37 minutes on intermediate and even advanced workouts. No, I didn't get perfect scores, but I was keeping a pretty good pace with the workouts! That made me realize two things. The first is how far I've come in eight months on this journey. The second is that not everything has to be perfect, and not everything will, but as long as I can keep a pretty good pace with what I get thrown at me, then I'll be okay.

This week WILL be the week that I hit my 50 pound milestone! I just have to keep pace with the workouts and make sure I make better choices when I eat, even if I can't eat on a regular schedule!

And keep the support coming! I love it and I love you guys!


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

No Matter What, Love Yourself!

Hello, my friends! Hope everyone's doing well!

Like every Tuesday night, I was watching The Biggest Loser. It was this show that motivated me to start changing my life and making myself healthy. However, it was after tonight's episode that I had a major breakthrough on my journey: I never really loved myself at all, and that led me to the self destructive path which resulted in me ending up at 242 pounds.

It was when Drea was saying that she felt unloveable and didn't want anyone to touch her that I realized that I wasn't loving myself either. Honestly, I don't think I ever really did. I have been a perfectionist since I was a kid, and figured that if it wasn't perfect, then what was the point? As a result, I found comfort in food, and I ended up being as heavy as I was.

Eight months ago, I started on a journey to lose weight and change my life. I knew there is always that one emotional barrier that everyone has to break through in order for the journey to be a true success.

Tonight, I found mine. Well, two of them to be exact.

The first is that I realized that not everything has to be perfect. I will have slips, and maybe some full blown falls, but the thing is to learn from them, and carry on. Wanting everything to be perfect just leads to an "all or nothing" attitude which will eventually lead to failure, which would eventually lead me down the same path I was on before, back up to 242 pounds, maybe more. And that is one place I don't want to go back to.

The second is that I have to love myself. I never really did, and that was why I let myself get in such bad shape. I have just started to truly love myself because I realized that no matter what, I AM truly worth it. I have started to realize that there is so much that I am capable of, and my life is worth living! As I continue on, I will start to open myself up to more love, not just from myself, but from the many people who I know love and care about me, which from comments on Facebook and Twitter, I know that many do.

To close out, thank you all for loving me and supporting me on my journey!

Kisses and hugs,


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

It's Wednesday...Weigh-In Day

Hello, again! Hope everyone's week is going well!

I weighed in this morning, as I do every Wednesday, and lost another pound! That brings my total loss for seven months and three weeks to 48 pounds! :-D I'm happy with that, of course, but it made me realize that I'm two pounds away from losing 50. So I plan to have a kick-ass week this week and work my butt off and watch my food intake very, very closely! No, it won't all be fun and games, but it'll all be worth it in the end, as it'll be another milestone in my journey.

Until next time, my friends!


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Change it Up!

Hello, my friends! Hope everyone is doing good!

I recently took a moment or so to look over my workout routine, and while Wii Fit's strength training and yoga are good, I realized that I needed more resistance training in my routine.

My first instinct was to get a set or two of free weights. However, I realized that I have no room to store them. So I got the next best thing: resistance bands. I got a set of 3 bands, hand grips, a DVD, and a carrying bag for only $15-half the cost of a month at a gym.

Let me tell you, it was well worth it, even though I only used them once so far. Just minutes in, I was feeling my muscles working, and after the full 30 minutes, it was the best workout I had in some time. Yup, I officially worked resistance training into my routine. 30 minutes a day, 3 days a week...yeah that'll work for me. Add in my cardio 2-3 days a week, and I'm set. :-)

In all honesty, I don't think I would have been this open to change seven and a half months ago. Now I've realized that, for the most part, change is good. It can lead to new things, some bad, some good. It's all about being open to it.

Taking it one step at a time!


Sunday, April 4, 2010

Picture Time!

Hello again, my friends! A few have been asking for pictures, so here we go!

This was April 2007-242 pounds...Last picture I took for quite some time...

This was December 22, 2009-I was around 210 at the time...down 32 pounds!

April 4, 2010-Down 47 at 195 :-)

Hope to post many more pics as I continue on! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!! :-)


I CAN Enjoy a Meal Out...and Stay on Track! :-)

Hello, everyone! And Happy Easter to all my Christian followers! No, I did not eat any chocolate bunnies or Peeps. :-)

I actually got to go out to dinner last night. I went with my family to Lonestar up in Bridgewater, about 45 minutes north of my house. I knew going out would be a test of how I could stay within my changing for the better lifestyle, and still have an enjoyable meal.

Well, I knew it would be hard, but little did I know just HOW hard it was going to be.

First off, I did cheat and have a beer. However, I limited myself to one Corona Light. I figured at 110 calories, I was slightly better off with one beer than I was with bottomless soda. With the size of the glasses, I was figuring about 400 per regular soda. And some of my family were having two or three of them. Well, I was happy with my one beer and two of the huge glasses of water. :-)

Then, came the hardest part of the meal: THE BREAD! Lonestar brings bread out to the table when they bring you your drinks. My first instinct was to say not to have the bread out until the meals came out. However, I was with four other people, so that would not fly too easily. What I could control, however, was how close the bread was to me, so I wasn't as tempted by it. That's just what I did. We put it at the other end of the table, and I did not have a piece (well, two) until my dinner was served.

The worst part for me was when everyone wanted potato skins. I wanted them too, even though I knew I shouldn't eat them in the first place. Well, I ate one. However, I scraped the excess cheese off so that there was only a tiny bit on the skin and had no sour cream on it at all. I found the one plain skin to be enough to satisfy my needs, especially since I had spicy chicken tortilla soup as well.

As for my main course, I had a 6 ounce filet mignion. It had very little fat on it, except for the bacon, which I took off. I used to eat everyone's bacon, now I didn't even want mine. Shows how much change I really placed into my life. With the steak, I had a sweet potato. No butter on it, but I did put a little cinnamon sugar on top. Sweet potatoes are plenty moist and tasty without butter, so I didn't even miss the stuff. A very yummy dinner.

And, yes, I did have dessert. I try to limit my sweets to one a day, and this would be my one. I had half of a small hot fudge sundae. I then put the rest in the freezer so I could enjoy dessert again another day. :-)

After last night, I learned that there will be times that I will be tempted along this journey. Some temptations I can control, others not so much (especially when I'm with my family.) What I can control is how I handle them. Before, I would eat a ton of bread before dinner, eat a few potato skins with a ton of sour cream, my full dinner, and still want dessert. Now, I've learned how to eat those foods in a smart way so I can enjoy them and stay on course.

Just got to take it one step at a time! :-)


Thursday, April 1, 2010

Success is a Journey, Not a Destination

I once heard the saying "Success is a journey, not a destination." This is so true in my weight loss journey. Every success, no matter how big, or small, is a step forward in the right direction.

The best one so far, and probably the one that matters most, is being able to do so much more physically than I was able to this time last year. Before I started losing weight, I couldn't even do 10 minutes of exercise without needing a rest. Now, I can go for 30-40 minutes without stopping!

My favorite success, and the most expensive (lol) is being able to fit into practically anything I want. As a result, I constantly want to go clothes shopping now, even though I know I'm going to need new clothes in a few months anyway. For example, I went into Old Navy and bought myself a pair of skinny jeans in a size 16. I don't remember the last time I even FIT into a size 16, so that put a huge smile on my face. And I always said that I would never wear skinny jeans, so to wear them and feel great in them is amazing.

The best was when I went into Kohl's and Target and was able to buy size 17 shorts (including my first ever pair of short shorts! :-D) from the juniors department. Of course, everything I bought is just a LITTLE tight, but when I lose another five pounds, it will all fit perfectly! That was the best feeling in the world. I know that it sounds a little silly, but when you're wearing women's plus sizes from 13 years old, fitting into junior sizes is GREAT! :-)

The greatest though is feeling better about myself. For so many years, I had almost no self-esteem. I was miserable and felt like I was nothing. However, I now realize that I AM worth it, and will continue to do so. I may have bad days, but hopefully they will be few and far between.

I have lost a total of 47 pounds in seven and a half months. Even though seeing the scale go down is a success itself, I have come to realize that success is more than just a number on the scale. It's being able to do more, fit into more kinds of clohes, and feeling a lot better about yourself. I still have a way to go (another 43 pounds), and yes, I will have my ups and downs, but each success will be worth it!


Welcome to the Journey

Hello, friends!

Seven and a half months ago, I decided to finally lose weight, get healthy, and finally get a life that I never had. However, I just decided (literally, hours ago) to share my experiences with the world. Sure, the thought of a blog about stuff like this may have been done so many times before, but each person's journey is different, so I realized that there's always room for one more person to share his or her experience.

Welcome to mine.

Oh sure, I would spend years saying that I would start tomorrow or next week. Well, tomorrow and next week came and went, and nothing would change. I honestly think that it was easy being overweight. I never exercised and ate literally, anything I wanted. Most of the time, what I wanted was high-fattening, good tasting sweet stuff almost every hour of the day. No matter how full I was, I still wanted more.

It was after the season 7 (spring 2009) finale of The Biggest Loser that I realized that I had to make some major changes in my life. I've been a fan of the show since season 4 (fall 2007), and yes, I admit to eating cookies and ice cream while I watched. However, after the season 7 finale, I decided that I had watched the show for too long, and spent too much of my life overweight and unhappy, to keep going the way I was going.

So, my journey began. At first, I wondered why I would go through this. Then, I realized that every change, no matter how small, would make a difference. For example, I went from drinking about 48 ounces of soda (4 cans) to none. I lost almost 10 pounds that week alone. However, I eventually went back to drinking soda, but I learned how to control my intake to at most a can a day. I did the same thing with my sweet tooth. I now limit my sweets to one treat a day, usually after supper.

As a matter of fact, the only drastic change I really made was in regards to my activity level. I went from doing almost nothing to making sure I get at least 30 minutes of exercise in every day. Some days are harder than others, especially when I work early in the mornings, but I make sure I do something to get myself moving. I've realized that the only way that this can happen is one step at a time and that "It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen that we find the reasons why, one step at a time," as sung by Jordin Sparks. I love the song "One Step at a Time" and that was the inspiration for the title for this. :-)

I'm going to close this with a huge thank you to everyone for reading this and for joining me on my journey!