Hello, my friends! Hope everyone's doing well!
Like every Tuesday night, I was watching The Biggest Loser. It was this show that motivated me to start changing my life and making myself healthy. However, it was after tonight's episode that I had a major breakthrough on my journey: I never really loved myself at all, and that led me to the self destructive path which resulted in me ending up at 242 pounds.
It was when Drea was saying that she felt unloveable and didn't want anyone to touch her that I realized that I wasn't loving myself either. Honestly, I don't think I ever really did. I have been a perfectionist since I was a kid, and figured that if it wasn't perfect, then what was the point? As a result, I found comfort in food, and I ended up being as heavy as I was.
Eight months ago, I started on a journey to lose weight and change my life. I knew there is always that one emotional barrier that everyone has to break through in order for the journey to be a true success.
Tonight, I found mine. Well, two of them to be exact.
The first is that I realized that not everything has to be perfect. I will have slips, and maybe some full blown falls, but the thing is to learn from them, and carry on. Wanting everything to be perfect just leads to an "all or nothing" attitude which will eventually lead to failure, which would eventually lead me down the same path I was on before, back up to 242 pounds, maybe more. And that is one place I don't want to go back to.
The second is that I have to love myself. I never really did, and that was why I let myself get in such bad shape. I have just started to truly love myself because I realized that no matter what, I AM truly worth it. I have started to realize that there is so much that I am capable of, and my life is worth living! As I continue on, I will start to open myself up to more love, not just from myself, but from the many people who I know love and care about me, which from comments on Facebook and Twitter, I know that many do.
To close out, thank you all for loving me and supporting me on my journey!
Kisses and hugs,