I want to apologize in advance if this post sounds a little...snappy at times. I know it is long-winded, but I just have a lot of thoughts going through my head this week and need to get them out somewhere in some sort of coherent fashion.
Anyway, my 5K is six weeks from tomorrow. Two things I would love to do right about now:
1) Cry my eyes out. I'm mentally worn out.
2) Crawl into fetal position while screaming "What the hell was I thinking?!"
Yes, I was all excited for signing up for my first ever race back when I signed up almost two months ago. I thought that since I started my weight loss journey over two and a half years ago, it would be cool to do something I never did before. I was all excited and couldn't wait to start training.
Until this week. I have seem to hit a mental block.
I repeated week 3 of the C25K last week, but decided to move up to week 4 this week (which is week 5 of my training). The program for all three days is a 5 minute warm-up walk, followed by a 3 minute jog, 90 second walk, 5 minute jog, 2 and a half minute walk, then repeat the whole cycle once.
Anyway, I was fine for the first stretch of the workout. Then came that first 5 minute run. I don't know what came over me, but I had to stop for at least one walk break of about 10-15 seconds. That was the case during the second run too. I ended the run fine physically, but so disappointed in myself at the same time. I know that speed will come, but I thought that I would be flying by now. Just...at a loss.
I know one thing will be true: I will take part in and finish this race.
Part of my mantra throughout this journey has been to finish what I start. Well, I sent in the form and money, and am five weeks into training for this thing. So, if I don't actually participate, then I won't finish what I started. In the end, I think that will be the more disappointing to live with.
Three years ago, I wouldn't have even THOUGHT about doing a 5K. In six weeks, I will cross that finish line no matter what. It's all about finishing what I started!
Have a good weekend, everyone!