Accepting Compliments: Struggling But Getting Better

At times, more often than any of us who've been through weight loss of any proportion would like to admit, there is always some sort of struggle. It can be mental, physical, emotional, or a combo of the three. 

Personally, even in maintenance, I've seen my share of the three. It will always be there, and I can only do my best to not let it get the best of me.

However, there is something I still struggle with to this day: accepting compliments!

Yes, I still don't believe that people actually say nice things about me. Anywhere. Anytime.

For example, I remember when we got audited at work in March, and the manager we were training told me that the auditor said I blew them away (in a good way, of course). My response: "I did?" Yup, the little bit of doubt popped into my head, and negated what was something that should have been awesome to hear.

Another time was when I raced the George Sheehan Classic 5K back in June and had my worst race ever. People were telling me that I did a good job for finishing a tough race in hot and humid conditions, but all I saw was my time, and kept coming down on myself for being as slow as I was.

Plus, all the time in the gym and the few occasions I go out, people keep telling me I look good. I say "Thanks," but really think to myself "Okay..." Again, self-doubt popping into my head.

I've come to the conclusion that I am my own worst enemy. I have more self-doubt and come down on myself so hard that it's crazy.

In a way, that is a good thing. I come down on myself for stuff that I know I can do better, and as a result, have gotten stronger, at least a little.

But for the most part, it just gets in the way. 

I found this quote on Pinterest, and I think it pretty much says it all.

 

I need to love (and stop underestimating) myself before I can see the love that the rest of the world has for me. Well, the part of the world that matters. ;-)

I'm starting to get better with the self-love. A week or two ago, I wore a top that wasn't too loose to the gym, and felt AMAZING in it! I even took a mirror pic (which I normally hate, for other reasons) to show how happy I felt! 

Now I just need to work on that more of the time!

I won't be perfect with this, but I can keep moving forward and love myself more. The more I love myself, the more that I can see the love everyone else has for me.

I'm actually thinking of making that a challenge in September (again). I found one on Pinterest (of course), and plan on rocking it! More details on that to follow!

For tonight, I will end with a positive self-affirmation: I am amazing. I have done awesome things. I love myself for all that I am. 

How about YOU? Do you struggle with accepting compliments?

Playlist Thursday: Mixed Bag

Happy Friday Eve, everybody! This week seemed to fly, which is unusual for me!

Since it's Thursday, and I forgot to post a playlist last week (silly real life getting in the way), here's one for you this week!

I can't thank Pavey enough for putting this idea in my head and I've gone with it for a few weeks now! I love putting these together!

For those unfamiliar with Playlist Thursday (either through here or Pavey), here's the format:

Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Here's what I came up with:

Something Old

Artist: Coldplay
Song: White Shadows
Side Note: Some people say that this song is underrated, which I kind of agree with. However, I'm kind of glad this song never hit the radio in the United States (It did in Australia, Italy, and Mexico). It made for a nice treat for those who bought the whole X&Y album. Everything about this song screams Coldplay, and it is awesome. Personally, I feel that this song is about recognizing things that you didn't know were there or that you wanted, and acting upon that realization. You may not get them, but at least you know what you're going for.
Quotable: Little white shadows glisten, part of a system plan.

 

Something Current

Artist: Florence and the Machine
Song: Queen of Peace
Side Note: The whole album How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful is awesome, but this song was my favorite from the time I first heard the album. The message is not the happiest, since it's pretty much about the girl being "the queen" trying to make everyone happy and the guy being "the king" ruining everything and driving everyone away. The song is catchy yet powerful, like much of the band's songs, and part of the reason I have become a Florence and the Machine fan!
Quotable: Like the stars chase the sun over the glowing hill, I will conquer.


(Note: I couldn't find a vid with only Queen of Peace, so this is what you get...)

 

Something to Consider

Artist: Fun.
Song: Carry On
Side Note: I try to stay away from anything really mellow and sappy with these. However, this is a great song. It is a bit cliched, with the whole "Never give up" theme, but at the same time, it's typical Fun. The beginning starts with feeling empty and alone and ends with "No one's going to stop us now" bit. I love this song when I'm feeling down and know that I just need to realize that if I carry on, it will be fine.
Quotable: 'Cause we are, we are shining stars, we are invincible, we are who we are.

This week's playlist may come across as a mixed bag, and that's because it is. I couldn't decide on a theme for this week, so I just picked a few of my favs. Hopefully, I can come up with an awesome theme for next week!

Enjoy your weekend, everyone! 

Playlist Thursday: Defining My 20's

Happy Birthday Eve to me! This time tomorrow, I'll be 30! Where has time gone? I seriously feel like I just turned 21! Wow.

Since it's Thursday, it's time for another playlist! Pavey had some good ones, and after he randomly did one again, I decided to start my own!

Here's the format:

Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Since tomorrow is my birthday, and I'll be in a new decade of life, I decided to make this week's playlist songs that reflected the crazy journey that my 20's took me on! Here's what I came up with:

Something Old

Artist: Bon Jovi
Song: Everyday
Side Note: You knew Bon Jovi was coming in a matter of time. I am from Jersey after all! I just realized this song was released my junior year of high school. Talk about feeling old. ;-) This is an awesome song though. The message of the song as a whole is having enough of living in the past and feeling like crap. Basically, living life every day as full as possible! I would have never done that if I was still overweight. I plan on embracing it even more in my 30's!
Quotable: Life, learning how to live my life, learning how to pick my fights, take my shots while I'm still burning.

 

Something Current

Artist: OneRepublic
Song: I Lived
Side Note: This is probably my favorite song on OneRepublic's album "Native." It is a catchy, yet emotional song. The message of the song is to live (or have lived) with no regrets, and nobody wants to have regrets. I run to this song all the time, and it makes me want to give it my all when I'm on the road. It was also the last song on Glee, and it was a fitting one too. I feel like this song spoke volumes about my 20's. While I struggled, I still gave everything I had, and even did some stuff that I never thought would have been possible.
Quotable: The only way you can know, give it all you have.

Something to Consider

Artist: Jordin Sparks
Song: One Step at a Time
Side Note: Another one you had to see coming...haha. Jordin was the American Idol winner in 2007, and was my favorite that season. This song was actually her second single, and was the song that started it all for me. I try to take life one step at a time, although I'm still a work in progress with this. Still, taking everything one step at a time more often than not got me to where I am today! I actually had that mantra custom made on a Momentum Jewelry wrap bracelet as a constant reminder.
Quotable: It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen, that we find the reasons why, one step at a time. 



There you have it! Three songs that defined my 20's and the crazy ride the decade took me on! Here's to making my 30's rock!

July Goals Recap

I still can't believe it's August already. In three days, I'll be 30 years old too. Wow. 

Well, since we're into August now, guess I should recap July.

Here was what I set out to do:

Here's how I did:

1) Apply #wycwyc into my life more. I did really well with this. I wasn't perfect, but I found myself wick-wick'ing a lot more than I used to. I think this will stick. #wycwyc still feels better than nothing!

2) Create a training plan for my October races. Well, October is starting early. I signed up for a 5K on September 13, and actually decided to go week-by-week with the training plans. My schedule at work may be changing, and I don't want to have two months of plans that may not work even close to 100%. Plus, honestly, trying to plan two months out was driving me crazy. Still, I'm in the right direction.

3) Try one new recipe. FAIL! I swear, summer is the worst time of year to cook. I got so lazy and didn't do much in the kitchen. Just my own laziness to blame here. Meh.

4) Comment on five blog posts a week. NAILED IT! I love catching up on my friends' blogs and interacting with them and other readers. Maybe this will stay a habit? I hope so!

5) Place $50 into savings. Yeah, did not happen. I got $25 in, then spent what I had in savings at the Liberty game on Sunday. Plus, money was tight, and I didn't get to save. Hopefully, after the summer ends, I'll get back on track!

So, I didn't buy my new sheets since the month was less than spectacular. However, I am happy with the progress I made and hoping some of these will stick through the rest of the summer and into the fall!

I am actually stepping back from monthly goals for August. Change is happening at work, and I don't want to drive myself too crazy with that and the goals for the month. I don't want to get into specifics with work right now, since the process hasn't started yet, but I can say that this is something I feel I'm ready for and will be for the better.

Happy August! 

Playlist Thursday: Pop Music

When the hell did it get to be July 30?! Seriously! Where is the summer going?

Anyway, since it's Thursday, that means it's time for another playlist!

Seriously, I would love to thank the awesome Pavey for making this happen! I'm trying to keep it going as long as I can! 

This week, I decided to step outside my current alt-rock zone and throw it to pop music. Which was good until the late 2000's. Then it became (mostly) crap. Anyway, here's the format:

Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.) Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year. Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Here's what I came up with:

Something Old

Artist: New Radicals
Song: You Get What You Give
Side Note: This is probably (okay, definitely) the only song you've heard by this band. It's a catchy song for sure. and it was probably associated as a graduation song in the 90's and early 2000's. Basically, it's saying just keep working at life, or anything really, and it will pay off. I recently just rediscovered this song and it rings true in my own life at the moment. 
Quotable: You feel your dreams are dying, hold tight.

 

Something Current

Artist: Ariana Grande (feat. Zedd)
Song: Break Free
Side Note: This has become one of my favorite songs. Totally upbeat but it has such an awesome message. This song is about not taking any crap from a certain someone, or just the world in general. Whatever. It's one of those songs I listen to when I've had a bad day and need to get some fire back in me.
Quotable: This is the part where I break free, 'cause I can't resist it no more.

 

Something to Consider

Artist: Ellie Goulding
Song: Burn
Side Note: I looked up the song and found out that Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic was one of the writers. No wonder I like it so much. ;-) Really, it is a good song though. I believe that this song is about standing up for what you believe in and not giving up on it (letting the fire burn). It can also be about spreading that belief around the world, like we're the stars. 
Quotable: Light it up, like we're the stars of the human race.



There you have it! Three songs in the pop world that basically all say not to give up, in some form or another. It wasn't until I put this playlist together that I realized it either. It works. No clue what next week's playlist will bring, so enjoy this week's!

What are YOU listening to this week?

Playlist Thursday: It's About the Journey, Not the Destination

Hey, everyone! It's almost Friday! Yay! 

Well, you know what that means: Playlist Thursday!

I got the idea from the one and only Pavey, and decided to make this a weekly thing as long as I have the desire to keep going with it.

This week, I decided to dig out my training and race playlists and picked three awesome songs, and realized that it's not all about the destination, but the journey itself!

Here's the format:

Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Here's what I came up with:

Something Old

Artist: U2

Song: Beautiful Day

Side Note: This song is (almost) TEN years old! I knew it was released in the 2000's, but I didn't think it was that long ago. Whatever. This is one of my favorite U2 songs, and perfect to run to. Ironically, in my May 5K, the pouring rain hit just as this song came on my playlist. Still, I keep it in my running rotation because the message in it is incredibly true, even if the weather is not on your side! ;-)

Quotable: You love this town, even if that doesn't ring true. You've been all over, and it's been all over you.

Something Current

Artist: Calvin Harris/Alesso (feat. Hurts)

Song: Under Control

Side Note: Unless you're a huge Calvin Harris or Alesso fan, you may not have heard of this song. This was on the 2014 album Motion, and it is one of my favorites from the album. It's in the typical Calvin Harris electronica style, and is an awesome song for working out or blasting in your car. It's not on my race playlist right now, but maybe someday. I usually listen to it at least once when I'm in training mode though. 

Quotable: Waiting for the fire to light feeling like we could do right.

Something to Consider

Artist: Foo Fighters

Song: Walk

Side Note: I was introduced to this song through spin class, and it made its way on to my race playlist for this year. Listening to it, I feel like it makes sense in my own journey. I feel like I had to get up and rebuild when I started on this path of healthy living, as I got injured three years ago, and as I took on 5K running. This journey may not be perfect, but as long as I never want to give up, and get back up when I fall down, I'm on the right track!

Quotable: Set me free, again. To keep alive, a moment at a time.

There you have it! Some more tunes to keep you rocking through your next workout or wherever life may take you! 

What are YOU listening to this week?

Fitblooggin' 2015: The Tribe!

This is the last of my Fitbloggin' posts for this year. Cue the sad faces.

Yes, I realize it's been a month since the conference, but that silly little thing called real life got in the way, and I haven't been able to sit down and blog as much as I would like. 

I decided to save this post for last, and am dedicating it to the tribe!

Basically, it's going to be a lot of pics...haha.

  

First, and foremost, I would like to thank the awesome Roni Noone for making this conference a reality!

Next, Steve, Jen, and Libby. You three rock and we made for the best scavenger hunt team ever! Thank you guys for helping me to push out of my comfort zone a bit and have a blast! The Goonies forever! 

Seriously, I could write a whole post on these three alone! They are that awesome!

Here are some more of the awesome tribe:


Erin, who is super adorable when she's not kicking asses at the crack of dawn. ;-)

Ty, who is as hilarious and witty in person as he is on the socials and his blog. One of my favorite people and partly why I was so eager to get to Denver! (P.S.-If you weren't there for his Ignite speed round, you missed probably the most hilarious moment of the conference.)

Nicole, a newbie to the scene, loves adventure, and is just full of awesome! We shared a car to the hotel, and have been pals since.

Alyssa and Kelly, two totally different, but both incredible girls. So happy I get to call them friends!  

Dre, one of the first people I met at my first Fitbloggin' back in 2012. He is a sweetheart and I can say  I got several hugs from him during the weekend.                                                                                                                                                      

                                                                     

The amazing Brooke, who tells us all how to live life not on a diet! ;-) In fact, it was one of her challenges that helped give me the final push to get to goal almost two years ago!

Heather, one of my roomies! Thank you for letting me room with you! It was awesome meeting you and getting to know you better!

Tara, who is incredible in her own right. I met her back in 2012, and am amazed with her. So happy I got to see her again in Denver! 

And the rest, old friends and new ones too, everyone I met that weekend is awesome and made me happy to be part of this incredible tribe! =)

 Pauly and Dani

Heather, Jen, Laura (who rocked the 5K with me), and Sarah

 Alan, Robby, and Brooke

 Lena

Dacia

Christie, who is cool despite being a Lightning fan. ;-)

As Dani said in her Ignite, "Fitbloggin is more than a weekend, it's a family!"

On that note, is it Fitbloggin' 2016 yet? 

Playlist Thursday: Rock On!

It's Thursday, and that means it's time for another Playlist Thursday!

Pavey had been doing them for awhile, and I decided to start doing my own!

I'm still on a bit of a rock kick, and that reflects on this week's playlist. This is more of a mixed bag though, as I have three very different artists and songs on here.              

Here's the format:

Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Here's what I came up with:

Something Old

Artist: Billy Joel

Song: We Didn't Start the Fire

Side Note: This song pretty much sums up a 40 year span in American history. (Joel's birth in 1949 until the song's release in 1989), and Joel decided to take those headlines and form them into a song. The song itself has over 100 events, yet most people who listen to this song understand most, if not all of them. I have a degree in history, and as a result, this has become one of my favorite songs.  

Quotable: "We didn't start the fire, It was always burning since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it." 

Something Current

Artist: Walk the Moon

Song: Shut Up and Dance

Side Note: You know that one song you hear on the radio, gets stuck in your head, and can't remember the name of it? Yeah, that was this song for me. The song is totally catchy and it took me forever to find out the name of it. I eventually downloaded it and love it. The story behind it may be cliched, but it's still a good song.  Plus, it was performed on Tuesday night before the MLB All-Star Game. That must mean it's good, right? ;-)                         

Quotable: "Oh don't you dare look back, Just keep your eyes on me. I said you're holding back, She said shut up and dance with me."

Something to Consider

Artist: Bastille 

Song: Pompeii

Side Note: This is actually the fourth single from the album "Bad Blood," but is probably Bastille's most well-known. Lyrically, it's about the Roman town named Pompeii that was wiped out when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 A.D. Even so, I think that the song can relate to today's world, depending on how one looks at it. This song has become one of my favs, and I listen to it at least once a day.
Quotable: "I was left to my own devices. Many days fell away with nothing to show."                                                 




There you have it. Another Thursday, another glimpse into my music library. I plan on making this a weekly thing. I have more than enough music to keep this going for awhile! ;-)

What are YOU listening to this week?

Fitbloggin' 2015: The Workouts

How has it been two weeks since Fitbloggin' ended? I still feel like it just happened! 

This is my second recap, and in this one I'll be writing about the workouts!

I actually got to participate in several this year, as I wasn't injured, and while they were different from what I normally do, I had a blast!

Friday

• Early Morning Bootcamp with Erin! Originally, I wasn't planning on the early workouts, but then realized that this is Fitbloggin', and nobody sleeps much. So off to bootcamp I went. It was awesome! It was all indoors, since it rained early in the morning, but it was still a great workout! We did warm-up moves as we introduced ourselves, then moved into resistance band moves that used the band in pretty much any way possible, from bicep curls to presses to partner moves holding the band while wall sitting. Of course, there was running too. What bootcamp doesn't have that? I ended the workout feeling amazing! Not a bad way to start the conference, right? 

Erin and me! Of course you know I had to sparkle my way through bootcamp! 

;-)

• Zumba! Okay, you know I am NOT a dancer of any kind. But I know Zumba is a tradition at Fitbloggin', and it was in Baltimore where I did my first class. Nellie and Co. were awesome, and while I wouldn't call myself the best at it, it was an enjoyable class. I wouldn't say that Fitbloggin' has made me a Zumba addict, but I think that I will do the class every year at the conference. 

Saturday

• Glider Yoga with Sweat Pink. Definitely not your traditional yoga class. Half of the class was done high intensity interval style (HIIT) on the glider plates. Push-ups on the plates are no joke, and I think I did some on my knees as a result. The mountain climbers were also tough. After the HIIT part was over, it was time for the traditional yoga flow. Now we're talking! I am more than familiar with this kind of stuff as I do a class called Centergy (basically a mix of yoga and Pilates). Again, I did what I could, but wasn't afraid to modify either (low lunges on my knees, for example), and was more than happy to lay in corpse pose at the end. It was different than what I'm used to with the Centergy, but not unfamiliar. I enjoyed the class, although it will be awhile before I do anything on plates again.

• High Intensity Interval Training with Jacklyn Ho. I missed the sign-up for the Yoga on the Roof (as I was ironically in the gym that night), so I decided to check out the HIIT class. I normally don't do these kind of workouts, so it was an interesting experience for sure. There were cardio moves (high knees) mixed with body weight strength moves (squats, push-ups, etc) done circuit-style. I liked this one, and plan on doing some HIIT work once my racing is done for the season in October.

I am so happy that I got to do the "fit" part of Fitbloggin' this time more than I did three years ago! I tried things that I normally wouldn't, and actually enjoyed them! I wouldn't say that I'm a total bootcamp or Zumba fanatic, but it gave me a different perspective on working out, and made me realize that I can do almost anything I put my mind to! 

Playlist Thursday: Alternative Rock with Meaning

TWO posts in one day from me?! Mark it on the calendar!

I decided to do a Playlist Thursday, which I got from my girl Carlee at Be The Change, who originally got the idea from Pavement Runner.

If you don't know me by now, you know that music pretty much fuels my life. I love checking out and creating playlists, so I decided to hop in on the fun! You can also check out what Carlee and Pavey are listening to! 

Here's the format of Playlist Thursday:

Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Here's what I came up with:

Something Old
Artist: Foo Fighters
Song: The Pretender
Side Note: I've been on an alternative rock kick lately, and found this song on my Pandora one day. I wound up downloading it and love rocking out to it, whether in my car or on the elliptical. Dave Grohl alluded to political unrest behind the song (released in 2007), but never gave a true meaning behind it. Honestly, it's not something I would have thought of, but hey, it still led to an awesome song.
Quotable: "What if I say that I'll never surrender? What if I say I'm not like the others?"





Something Current
Artist: Fall Out Boy
Song: Centuries
Side Note: Okay, this song was totally overplayed thanks to ESPN using it for the College Football Playoff as well as the NHL All-Star Game. So what. It's still an awesome song. Plus, we all know everyone has those moments in life where they want to scream the chorus of the song. ;-)
Quotable: "Some legends are told, some turn into dust or to gold, but you will remember me, remember me for centuries."




Something to Consider
Artist: Imagine Dragons
Song: Warriors
Side Note: I love Imagine Dragons. This was another Pandora find that turned into a download. The song itself is short (2:50), but it is awesome from start to end. It was originally written for the 2014 League of Legends Championship, but also became the anthem for the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup. How cool is that? Anyway, this song makes me feel like a warrior because I am one, even though I never played League of Legends. Still, I fought to make myself the person I am today!
Quotable: "When you'll have to rise above the best and prove yourself, Your spirit never dies!"



Yup, I'm definitely on an alternative kick, but at the same time, I love songs that are also powerful and can make me feel like a rockstar myself! ;-)

What are YOU listening to this week?

Fitbloggin 2015: The Sessions

I've been back from Fitbloggin' for two weeks and I am now just getting around to writing recaps. Fail. 

I decided to break down my recaps a little differently than I did in 2012, where I broke down the weekend day by day. I will be breaking them down by category. This one is about the sessions I went to throughout the weekend. I know, boring stuff. However, I took more away from this conference than I did in 2012, probably because I actually went to FEWER sessions.

This year, my goal was to scale back the sessions so I got more out of them, but at the same time not be overwhelmed trying to get to EVERYTHING. I wound up going to five total for the weekend, most of which were health/body-image related. I felt that perspective was more of what I needed this time, so that's what I stuck with.

Here's the breakdown of the sessions I went to. For more detailed posts, check out the live blogs on Fitbloggin's official page.

Friday

• How to Build Readership Through Social Media. This was hosted by my friend Ty of Seeking Boston Marathon. I admit Ty was pretty much the reason I went to this session, but I did get a bit out of it. For example, I realize that for my blog, I am definitely more of a Twitter and Instagram person. Facebook has pretty much become a "pay-to-play" atmosphere for "like" pages, and something that I really don't want to get caught up in. Plus, I post links to my blog on my personal page anyway. I also realized that I need to work on not auto-posting from Instagram to Facebook and Twitter.  Overall, a great session and one that helped me focus on two platforms in the social world.
• Body Love: Becoming Comfortable Showing Your Skin. See my earlier post on this one here.
• Fitfluential with Kelly Olexa! I am a Fitfluential ambassador, and decided to check out Kelly's presentation. In a nutshell, I learned that I need to step out of my comfort zone a little more, and I actually did throughout the weekend, and have a bit since the conference ended. Baby steps, but I'm getting there!

Saturday

• "Nice Job Maintaining This Week!" Why Being an After is SO Hard, hosted by Sarah Quina. This was another much needed session for me. As someone who has been at goal (or thereabouts) for almost two years, I know that maintaining is harder than losing. The "maintenance" phase of weight loss is rarely talked about, so that's why so many struggle. We're not wanting to see change on the scale, but we're looking for new things to achieve instead. Being an after IS hard, but honestly, so was being heavy and so was losing. Life is about choosing your hard, and I would rather choose the part where I'm not 246 pounds. Like other sessions I went to, I realized that I am more than a number on the scale, and I'm rocking it.
• Eat, Move, Love: Finding Yourself Without Losing Your Mind. This one was hosted by Dacia, Thea, and Heather. The path to health and wellness is not set in stone, and can get tiring. Basically, it can become a game of keeping up with the Joneses. Not fun. One thing I got out of this session is to keep doing what I'm doing for ME, not for anyone else. I also am trying to apply the principle of "What's the worst that can happen?" more. Unless it's death, then go for it! However, one thing that really hit home is that the "old" me is still part of me, that it was that person that changed my life and led me to who I am today. Basically, I need to keep going for myself and do what I want because it's what I want. 

So, there you have it. The five sessions of Fitbloggin' that I attended this year and what I got out of them. I realized that I need to stop trying to please everybody else and love myself for who I am and what I do. I also realized that I need to step out of my comfort zone and take more chances in life. Overall, I walked away from this weekend with a much needed new perspective on myself and am loving myself a lot more than I did before! 

30 Days of Tracy: Countdown to My 30th Birthday

Hi, everyone! Hope you all had an awesome 4th of July! 

I was thinking of what I could do to countdown to my 30th birthday on August 7, but was stumped. I didn't want to do a run streak, since my body physically needs rest days. I didn't want to do a photo-a-day, since I never seem to finish them. What was a girl to do?

Then, on Friday, my girl Tara over at WorthEveryOunce said she was mindfully doing something good for herself over the next thirty days, as she counts down to her 40th. 

DING-DING!

I decided that I will do the same thing for myself the thirty days leading up to my 30th. I realized that I don't take enough time for myself, especially down time to just zone out. I'm always doing something, whether it's working, being in the gym or playing with the nephew. Granted, I feel lucky to be able to do all this, but at the same time, I want to also take care of my mind and soul.

Therefore, not all of my activities will be fitness related. I would love that, but I know it's not what's best for me. I plan on doing something for me once a day over the next month, starting on Wednesday. I know that no matter how small the activity may seem, it will be something that makes me happy, which will help me be a better person, either mentally or physically.

You can follow all the fun too! I'm @Tradledee85 on Twitter and Instagram, and will be using the hashtag #30DaysofTracy to record this experience. I can't wait to see how this turns out! 

Here's to an awesome last month of my 20's!

How do you count down to YOUR birthday?

July Goals!

Reality is slapping me in the face. Hard.

First day back to work today and it was brutal getting up at 4:00 in the morning. It had to happen, right?

Well, speaking of reality, I decided that I need to do a little rebuilding this month and set a set of goals that reflect that:

1) Apply #wycwyc in my life more. Actually, this should read "Apply #wycwyc into my life in general." Anyway, I rend to be an "all or nothing" person, and applying "What You Can, When You Can" (better known as wycwyc, pronounced wick-wick) will help me get out of that mindset. Life is about balance, and hey, we do what we can, and that is a hell of a lot better than nothing, right?

2) Create a training plan for my October races. You read that right. Races. I am running two 5K's on back to back Sundays, and want to come up with a legit training plan this go-around. I plan on three days of running, one or two of spin, two weight training, along with mind-body and core work. I'll post what I come up with when I do it.

3) Try one new recipe. I love to cook! I don't do it as often as I could or should, so I will seek out a recipe and try it. Maybe even using a new-to-me ingredient!

4) Comment on five or more blog posts a week. Again, this is something I don't do enough of. I met a ton of people at Fitbloggin' last weekend, and have lots of new blogs to read! So this is totally doable!

5) Place $50 into savings. Yeah, Fitbloggin' also wiped out my savings. I just want to rebuild my account a little.

As for a reward? New bed sheets! I have two sets, but would love to have a third. Nothing like crashing into a cozy set of sheets on your bed at the end of the day!

There you have it! I plan on rebuilding and getting back into a routine this month! 

How about you? What are you working on in July?

Fitbloggin 2015: Body Love

Hi, everyone! We're two days away from JULY! How the hell did that happen? Didn't June just start? 

Anyway, in case y'all have been living under a rock, or don't follow me on the socials, I went to a kick-ass conference this weekend called Fitbloggin'! Four awesome days with some of the most awesome people I know and am super happy to call friends! Plus a wild and crazy scavenger hunt with the most unexpected group of people that won all four of us a ticket to next year's conference!

I plan on formally recapping the weekend later in the week, but there was one session on Friday that really hit home and I felt that needed a separate post.

Tasha and my friend Kelly led a session called "Body Love: Becoming Comfortable Showing Your Skin." I don't know what it was, but signs were pointing me to go to that session.

Turns out it was a much needed slap in the face.

In a gist, this discussion was about how we can have both negative and positive body images of ourselves and what we can do to change how we think about it.

I'm not going to recap the whole session, since live blogger Jennifer did that on the Fitbloggin page already, but I am going to tie it in as I give myself some much needed tough love. So here goes. This may come off as a bit ramblish, but I'm writing what pops into my head. You've been warned...

George Sheehan Classic (Red Bank, NJ)

This race can be summed up in four sentences. It was humid. Mother Nature won. I got a new personal worst. The end.

Okay, that sounds boring, right?

You all probably want to know the "how" right? Plus, I don't know. Maybe see some pictures of my newest Sparkle Athletic skirt? ;-)

Well, here you go. This recap won't be pretty, much like the race itself. But I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and am still emotional about yesterday, so this does have a lot of raw emotion. 

I went into this race with four goals:

A+: Overall PR of 34:35 or faster. With the crowding and hill in this race, it would be a long shot, but if everything was in sync, it would be possible (hence the "plus").

A: Course PR (below 35:51). I would not have an overall PR, but would beat my time from this race in 2012 and have a course PR. This was the actual goal I had going in to this race.

B: Between 35:51-36:46. This would not be any type of PR, but would not be a personal worst. 

C: Finish in the upright position with a smile on my face. Hey, sometimes this is all you need, right?

Spoiler: None of these happened. Just keep reading, okay? Sheesh! ;-)

I was nervous going into this race as is (the infamous Tower Hill), but the forecast for Saturday was making the nerves worse. Temps were forecasted into the 70's with humidity around 60-70 percent. Can we say "Ugh" now?

Anyway, I was as prepared as I could get in terms of running in the humid air and with the hill work over the last month or so. Still, even as I laid out my Flat Tracy, I was beyond nervous.

Shirt: Abundant Heart, Belt: Spibelt, Leg Sleeves: Zensah. Shoes: Asics Gel Contend 2, Shorts: Under Armour, Skirt and Shwings: Sparkle Athletic.

I had trouble sleeping on Friday night, partially nerves, partially heat. Still, I did manage some sleep, and still woke up around 6 on Saturday morning.

I did my usual pre-race meal, checked my social networks, and got dressed. Goal was to be in the car at 7:30, and I was in at about 7:26. Win!

Once I got down to Red Bank, I parked and paid for my spot up to about 11:00, since I didn't know how long I was going to be down there after the race.

After that was taken care of, I hung around the start area and tried to stay calm and loose before the race. I was also looking for Janine and her husband Brian who were also running.

Sure enough, about 20 minutes before go time, I spotted them! Or maybe they spotted me first. You know, because so many people wear red Sparkle Athletic skirts...haha. ;-) We chatted for a bit before the start, and eventually we had to part ways, since they were sub 30:00 runners, and I was hoping for about 35:00.

Oh, and I got my pre-race pic. Pretty sure this was the happiest I looked all morning.

It's almost go time! I'm ready, I'm ready! Not really, but we can pretend, right? ;-)

I was as set as I was going to get at this point. Training was done, now was the time to trust that it was enough. 

The rest of the pre-race was fast. Race director said his few words, the national anthem was sung, and then we were off! See y'all on Tower Hill, then the finish!

I started kind of far back, so it was just over a minute before I hit the start mat and my race would "officially" begin. 

Approximate position of my start. It took me 1:08 to hit the start mat.

Once I crossed the start mat, adrenaline kicked in, and I started off strong, running for about 90 seconds or so. That wound up being the longest stretch I ran for the entire race.

I attempted to stick to a 1:1 ratio (a minute running to a minute walking), but with the humidity feeling like it was climbing, this was short lived. 

My clock time for the first mile was about 12:23, so I figured I was about 11:23 or so, which was on pace for the course PR.

Then Mother Nature decided she wanted more. What I forgot about this race is that most of it is in the sun. And it sucked yesterday. It was blistering, and coupled with the humidity, felt awful. I am beyond thankful for all the Red Bank and Little Silver residents who were up cheering on us crazy people and had their hoses and sprinklers going. That support was AWESOME and part of what kept me going!

The second mile of any race has always been tough for me, but today was where it got bad. I hit the two-mile marker at about 25:20, which meant any hope of a course PR was down the toilet. The overall PR got shot at mile 1. At this point, it was just a battle to finish. 

Yeah, Mother Nature wants more than I do. Is this over yet?

Ironically, I felt strong going on to Tower Hill. It wasn't as bad as I remember it being (maybe all the hill work I did over the last month), and I actually ran up about halfway! Not perfect, but hey, it was something more than I did three years ago!

Once I got past Tower Hill, I was spent. I was still hoping for my "B" goal and not PW, but I was struggling, like many around me. I was a mess, and wanted to cry at so many points in this race, but I just kept trudging forward, running where I could, and just thought that maybe I wouldn't get a PW after all.

It wasn't meant to be. I hit Broad Street, and tried to run the whole stretch, but couldn't do it. I did stop for a pic with Jogsey (the Run Jersey mascot), and probably looked so stupid doing it, but at that point, I didn't care. I was done. I just wanted this race to be over. (Still waiting on the pic from Run Jersey and will post when I get it).

I did manage a sprint for the last few tenths, and had a clock time of 40:15, which I figured was a chip time of 39 and change. Yup, I had a brand new personal worst. Very disappointing finish to a race where my goal time was about four minutes faster. 

I'm pretty sure I looked like a flying moron in my finisher pic, but again, I didn't care. This race took everything I had, and pretty sure my "C" goal wasn't even accomplished. I finished, but the smile was fake, and I was never more happy to be done with anything in my life. 

After I crossed the finish line, I got my finisher gift (a tote bag) and headed down to the festival to get some snacks and see if Janine and Brian were still around. 

I found them and found out they both did awesome! Ten minutes ahead of me awesome! I congratulated them, hung out for a few minutes, then got a post race pic with Janine before they left. 

So awesome to meet social media pals in real life! Janine is awesome! (Thank you Janine for letting me use this pic!)

The results were being posted as fast as they could get them, so after a few minutes at the festival, I found mine. Clock time: 40:15.3. Chip time: 39:07.5 (Pace: 12:36/mile). New PW by just under three minutes. I knew the weather had a lot to do with it (damn heat and humidity), but the feeling still sucked, especially when hearing of people who actually PR'd. I had my goals set high for this race, and Mother Nature had her way with me. I know that not every race can be a PR, and that I gave everything I had, but it wasn't enough. Heat kicked in and beat my ass. I wanted to give up so many times, but I told myself that the DNF wasn't worth it. I had to remember that there was a time where I wouldn't have even tried to do this, and I had eleven times now! 

After I had walked around a bit, I went down by the Navesink River, and asked someone to take a picture of me by the water. I needed one bright spot in my day, and the picture did just that.

Seriously, every race along the water should have it as a finisher photo-op. It is GORGEOUS!

I think that the saying "Expect the unexpected" should apply to runners everywhere. You never know what race day will bring, and yesterday, it was nothing like I was hoping for. Sometimes, the course and/or Mother Nature will want more. Yesterday, they both won and then some. Still, I did finish, and that's what counts. 

Even with the conditions and everything, this race will still hurt for awhile. I think anything that ends up way less than what you hope for does in general. I'm just glad I finished and even though it wasn't fun, I think I became stronger as a result. 

So maybe I did come out on the right side after all. Whatever. I know I'm not done with this race yet. I WILL be back for my revenge on Tower Hill! Next time, for real! ;-)